People tell me all the time that they’re interested in writing their family stories, interviewing older relatives so they can pass down the details for the next generation, have something interesting to share at family reunions. I tell them about the ways they can approach the task, the old-fashioned way with pen and paper, recording interviews on their cell phone, doing a video and audio recording in a virtual format, scrapbooking or creating a photo album with detailed captions. In response I usually get a slight head nod and a lethargic, “That’s a good idea.”

I understand. We’re all busy.

But what if the details you needed to document a good portion of your family story, were much easier to obtain. That was the case for my friend, Nadine Schofield.

As a child, Nadine knew about a box of letters tucked away in a little suitcase in her parents’ closet. Occasionally her mother would read a few of them and reminisce.

“I asked my mother about them and she said, ‘Oh, they’re just some nice things your father said about me,” Nadine said.

Her mother made it clear that the letters were private and Nadine didn’t have permission to read them. Many decades later, her mother gave her permission to read them after she passed away. When her mother died at age 87, Nadine opened the box and what she found surpassed her expectations, hundreds of letters her father wrote to her mother when he was in the U.S. Coast Guard during World War II.

“My father was a good writer,” Nadine said, her face lighting up during our dinner at a Mediterranean restaurant. “The letters highlight my father’s eloquence and wit. It was a real cool love story. It provided me with a deeper insight into my parents’ relationship.”

Written between 1941 and 1946, the letters had yellowed and were musty, but a sweetness rose from the words on each page.

World War II accounts are easy enough to come by in movies, TV shows, documentaries, and books, but the perspective Nadine has gotten from her father’s letters is something rare.

“He wrote a lot about the music of the era, the big bands. He talked about what it was like to go to New York City to see a musical and how grand that was. And then being in California, seeing the Palladium, which was apparently a gigantic dance hall.”

Nadine could have stopped there, reading each letter, treasuring the details of her parents’ love story, but that was only the beginning for her. She felt the letters would be precious jewels for her family, for her son and daughter, their children and the generations to come. A skilled editor, Nadine self-published the letters in book form, including many in their entirety and excerpts of others. It became a family affair. Her brother, Jon, created the cover art and wrote a reflection. A reflection is also included from her brother, Gene.   

The result is the 167-page Hurry Home: Love Letters from the War. Family photos, postcards, a military recruiting poster, and newspaper front pages enhance the narratives. “Hurry Home” were the closing words in the last letter received in the collection of letters.

On Thursday, February 19, I stood on the iconic red circle on the campus of Southern New Hampshire University and addressed a packed auditorium and thousands of viewers on a live stream. Presenting my 12-minute TEDxSNHU talk was a phenomenal experience. I’ve done public speaking before, but I knew I had to work extra hard to make my speech TEDx worthy.

TED Talks are videos that present a great idea in 18 minutes or less. TEDx is the same brand as TED (Technology, Entertainment, Design) but TED is global. TEDx consists of independently organized local events following TED’s format and guidelines.

Why do a TEDx Talk?

TEDx talks are designed to “share ideas worth spreading” through personal stories and lived experiences that resonate with viewers and motivate them to take action. In my talk, “The Hidden Gifts in Your Family History,” I explained how a snippet of information about my great-grandfather, a former slave, launched me on a journey to learn more about my lineage and encourage others to preserve their family stories and share them for the next generation.

 Preparation was intense

I was ecstatic when I got the email stating that my proposal for my talk had been accepted. That lasted for about a day. Then I began to panic at the thought of speaking before an audience and the amount of work involved to prepare. The TEDxSNHU people provided me with a coach, Marcia Griffith, who is on staff at SNHU and gave a TEDx talk in 2025 on her solo 200-mile pilgrimage across Portugal and Spain. 

Getting ready for showtime!

The day before the big event we rehearsal. For hours. All nine of us got on stage and spent hours working out the kinks and technical issues in our talks. We were treated like celebrities and I suppose in some ways we were. We were given accommodations at a local hotel and provided with shuttle service back and forth to campus and complimentary meals in the university cafeteria.

Multiple times I reworked the draft of my talk under Marcia’s guidance. She pushed me hard until my talk was polished to a sheen. She suggested that my presentation include family photos and the cover image of memoir. I’m so glad she did.

Marcia suggested I have several outfits on hand so I could decide which one looked best. A makeup artist fashioned our faces in a way that would be pleasing to the camera.

Waiting backstage with the other speakers I watched the auditorium filled with people who’d registered to hear our talks. I was surprised at the interest and thrilled that they were there. I later found out that my sister, brother-in-law, niece and nephew were watching the livestream and rooting for me to do a good job.

My nephew, Julian, even had a picture taken of him at work, while he was watching me do my talk. My friend and former SNHU classmate, Lisa Allen came to the live presentation and we celebrated afterwards in the campus café.

Being a TEDx speaker was an experience I will never forget. I was nervous going into it, relieved when it was over, but now, can’t wait for the opportunity to give another one.

Each year I travel to Hampton Virginia in October for Homecoming. It’s special for me due to the strong emphasis on community, culture, and joy. It’s a huge family reunion of sorts with parades, concerts, plays, parties, and, of course, the football game. In recent years the university has invited graduates to participate at an alumni author showcase during the Homecoming bazaar. I’ve been able to display and make available for purchase me memoir, Dancing Between the Raindrops and my novel, The Talking Drum.

It’s a literal family affair for me because my sister followed in my footsteps and went to Hampton. She met her husband there and their daughter, my niece, is in her junior year, majoring journalism.

One feature was extra special this time around. The Hampton University Section of the National Council of Negro Women hosted a table at the Homecoming bazaar. As immediate past president of the Greater Boston Section I was excited to meet my NCNW sisters from the HU collegiate section.

As a breast cancer survivor, I was thrilled to learn that the theme of their table was breast cancer awareness. Brianna Lane, secretary of the section, told me that they were hosting a breast cancer awareness raffle. Fifty percent of all proceeds would go toward providing free mammograms.

She said that earlier in October the section hosted a “sip and paint” event to inform members about breast cancer and give them an opportunity to create art on canvasses for breast cancer patients and survivors. I was honored to accept the canvas of my choice and proud to learn about the good work that my NCNW sisters are doing at my alma mater.

We all know at least one person who’s hard to shop for, someone who wants nothing or already has everything they need. Then there are the friends who are downsizing or decluttering, reducing the volume of clothes and other items in their home. The last thing they need is for you to undo their progress with a plush throw blanket, set of flannel pajamas, personalized coffee mug or a board game.  

The perfect gift could be as thin as a sheet of paper, cost nothing and have a worth beyond estimation—AKA a legacy letter. A legacy letter is a personal statement written to to share your values, life lessons, and wisdom with loved ones. It can include personal stories, blessings, hopes, gratitude, and be delivered either during your lifetime or posthumously. Interested? Here are some writing prompts to get you started.

• What are the core values and beliefs that have guided your life? How did you come to hold these values?
• How do you hope your values will guide your family in the future?
• What family tradition is most meaningful to you and why?
• What simple values bring you joy.

Here are two sample letters that may provide you with inspiration:

A letter from an aunt

My Beloved Nieces and Nephews –

I want you to know what is important to me, and I leave you this legacy:

Each of you has added a rich and beautiful texture to my life since the day of your birth! I have forever watched over you, hoped the best for you and shared many family adventures with you.

For four generations, my eyes have also watched our family struggle with alcoholism – grandparents, parents, my siblings and now some of you, the youngest among us. Alcoholism robs the family of joy, trust, hope and enthusiasm – even if you are not the alcoholic. Some of the harshest pain that I have ever known was watching my Dad’s suffering with addiction for over thirty years and Mom’s umbilical dance with this devil we call alcoholism.

•Yet somehow, early on, I was inspired to step away from home and try to change the nature of my engagement with Life. Rather than follow the familial paths that I’d known, I’ve worked hard to foster my own wellbeing, joy and wonder for Life. At the same time, I have always been willing to step back into the fray of family struggles in hopes that I could hold up different paths and choices for you to see.

•I pray that, if you would honor me and accept one small gift, then let it be this thought: Let true joy be the only addiction in your life! If joy eludes you, then change the nature of your engagement with this wondrous world. Simply try something different! Hope, inspiration and wonder are far more worthy companions than alcohol. Trust this, and God will guide you to your joy!

•All my love,

Aunt —-

A letter from a grandchild

Dear Grandpa,

On this most momentous of occasions, I thought that I would take the time to write down a few of my most treasured memories of our time together…, and congratulate you on 90 years of a truly remarkable life.

Ever since I can remember, I have always looked up to you. Perhaps it is because it is natural for any grandson to admire the accomplishments (which are numerous) of his grandfather. Perhaps it is the special bond that any two people who share a name possess inherently, the latter always thinking of continuing the legacy of the former. Or maybe it is because you have continued to be an important role model, life coach, and father figure in my formative years. Whatever, the case, I like to think it is more than the sum of the parts, and I believe that I would not be the person I am today without you.

Even though I am across oceans, I want you to know that I am thinking of you. In fact, so often I am reminded that the one of the reasons I am here, or have gone to any of the wild and strange and far off places I like to frequent, is because of you. I remember growing up and taking in your wanderlust. You showed me big books of pictures of the pyramids of Egypt, sent me postcards from Europe, had strange and foreign masks hanging from the walls in your house. I reveled in your curiosity, knowing that I wanted to be curious in the same way. I think in the stories you told me growing up, you helped raise me to be an adventurer, raised me to be like that part of you…

My favorite memories of you are not serious; you, more excited than any of us kids to be at the Pirate Museum, the joke memorial on the path up to your house, the funny books and photos you collect and send to me, the annual giving of strange gifts at Christmas.

There is so much to admire about you: your kindness, your intelligence, your work ethic, but what I look up to the most is your ability to make life fun, to make any situation joyful. You have taught me that respecting yourself does not mean that you should always take yourself seriously, and in fact you shouldn’t. I hope to carry this with me through life, to spread the kind of joy that you have given to me.

To me, your 90th birthday marks as not just an occasion to celebrate your life and your many feats in becoming the man you are today. It reminds me to be truly grateful that I have been blessed with such a wonderful, kind, intelligent, and witty person to have shaped me throughout my life. I hope you have a fantastic birthday full of love, life and happiness.