We all know at least one person who’s hard to shop for, someone who wants nothing or already has everything they need. Then there are the friends who are downsizing or decluttering, reducing the volume of clothes and other items in their home. The last thing they need is for you to undo their progress with a plush throw blanket, set of flannel pajamas, personalized coffee mug or a board game.  

The perfect gift could be as thin as a sheet of paper, cost nothing and have a worth beyond estimation—AKA a legacy letter. A legacy letter is a personal statement written to to share your values, life lessons, and wisdom with loved ones. It can include personal stories, blessings, hopes, gratitude, and be delivered either during your lifetime or posthumously. Interested? Here are some writing prompts to get you started.

• What are the core values and beliefs that have guided your life? How did you come to hold these values?
• How do you hope your values will guide your family in the future?
• What family tradition is most meaningful to you and why?
• What simple values bring you joy.

Here are two sample letters that may provide you with inspiration:

A letter from an aunt

My Beloved Nieces and Nephews –

I want you to know what is important to me, and I leave you this legacy:

Each of you has added a rich and beautiful texture to my life since the day of your birth! I have forever watched over you, hoped the best for you and shared many family adventures with you.

For four generations, my eyes have also watched our family struggle with alcoholism – grandparents, parents, my siblings and now some of you, the youngest among us. Alcoholism robs the family of joy, trust, hope and enthusiasm – even if you are not the alcoholic. Some of the harshest pain that I have ever known was watching my Dad’s suffering with addiction for over thirty years and Mom’s umbilical dance with this devil we call alcoholism.

•Yet somehow, early on, I was inspired to step away from home and try to change the nature of my engagement with Life. Rather than follow the familial paths that I’d known, I’ve worked hard to foster my own wellbeing, joy and wonder for Life. At the same time, I have always been willing to step back into the fray of family struggles in hopes that I could hold up different paths and choices for you to see.

•I pray that, if you would honor me and accept one small gift, then let it be this thought: Let true joy be the only addiction in your life! If joy eludes you, then change the nature of your engagement with this wondrous world. Simply try something different! Hope, inspiration and wonder are far more worthy companions than alcohol. Trust this, and God will guide you to your joy!

•All my love,

Aunt —-

A letter from a grandchild

Dear Grandpa,

On this most momentous of occasions, I thought that I would take the time to write down a few of my most treasured memories of our time together…, and congratulate you on 90 years of a truly remarkable life.

Ever since I can remember, I have always looked up to you. Perhaps it is because it is natural for any grandson to admire the accomplishments (which are numerous) of his grandfather. Perhaps it is the special bond that any two people who share a name possess inherently, the latter always thinking of continuing the legacy of the former. Or maybe it is because you have continued to be an important role model, life coach, and father figure in my formative years. Whatever, the case, I like to think it is more than the sum of the parts, and I believe that I would not be the person I am today without you.

Even though I am across oceans, I want you to know that I am thinking of you. In fact, so often I am reminded that the one of the reasons I am here, or have gone to any of the wild and strange and far off places I like to frequent, is because of you. I remember growing up and taking in your wanderlust. You showed me big books of pictures of the pyramids of Egypt, sent me postcards from Europe, had strange and foreign masks hanging from the walls in your house. I reveled in your curiosity, knowing that I wanted to be curious in the same way. I think in the stories you told me growing up, you helped raise me to be an adventurer, raised me to be like that part of you…

My favorite memories of you are not serious; you, more excited than any of us kids to be at the Pirate Museum, the joke memorial on the path up to your house, the funny books and photos you collect and send to me, the annual giving of strange gifts at Christmas.

There is so much to admire about you: your kindness, your intelligence, your work ethic, but what I look up to the most is your ability to make life fun, to make any situation joyful. You have taught me that respecting yourself does not mean that you should always take yourself seriously, and in fact you shouldn’t. I hope to carry this with me through life, to spread the kind of joy that you have given to me.

To me, your 90th birthday marks as not just an occasion to celebrate your life and your many feats in becoming the man you are today. It reminds me to be truly grateful that I have been blessed with such a wonderful, kind, intelligent, and witty person to have shaped me throughout my life. I hope you have a fantastic birthday full of love, life and happiness.